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The Best Life: rule #6 speak gently so all may know of love

Tata — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 15:17:08 +0000

The way you speak to people determines what you get from them. It is hardly what you say to people that matter, but how you say it that’s more important. Everything and anything has been done; thus, what individuates you from the crowed is the “how”. You can do anything you please and people will remember what you did but also how you did it most of the time. I remember as I kid my mom used to get me to take out the trash, cook small meals, or clean the dishes I had used. I thank her for that now because it made me kitchen independent. But I remember how she would say it more than anything. If she said it gently without commanding me to do it, it got done faster. She soon realized this too and she got more out of me.

So, when you speak gently and lovinly to others, you will get the same tone most of the time. Don’t believe me? Start an argument right now, just pick somethig random and start yelling about it to the first person you see. What is likely to happen is that the person you are yelling at will start yelling back too. Soon, it will be a full blown argument and by the end of it, like a lot arguments, you will forget what it was about and laugh about how silly it really was. The same goes for the opposit. If someone is yelling, how do you get them to stop?

You will not get someone to stop yelling at you by yelling back at them. Instead, in a calm, cool voice, answer them with a gentle demeanor and eventually, your calmness will rub off on them and they will calm down too. Your voice is very powerful. When you listen to music, can you stand to listen to an artist you think cannot sing? I don’t think so. The same goes for the radio. And if you enjoy listening to a pleasant voice on the radio
then why not apply this simple principle in your life?

Don’t believe how powerful words are? I used to date this girl who used to use certain phrases about how being together was not a sure thing. And certain things she would do would demonstrate just that. Although I am usually not the type of person to fall prey to negativity, sometimes the resolve of another is just more powerful. Eventually, those words became our reality. So pay attention to what you say and how you say it. It is a tool that everyone has at their disposal that also sets those who know how to use it apart from those who haven’t mastered the art of the tongue yet. Language is poetry
and poetry is life.

I could be wrong. What say you?

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The Best Life: rule #5 – always tell the truth

Tata — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 00:41:11 +0000

Can you go a week without lying? What about a day? Is it possible for people to always tell the truth? For a lot of people it is hard for a number of reasons. They want to spare another person’s feelings. They want to keep their job. They want to get ahead in life. They want to impress their friends and they want to feel important. And some people feel like they have to lie to accomplish these things. As a result, truth has become a rear commodity.

So, is there a way to accomplish what you want out of life withou lying and cheating? Absolutely. I know and have heard of many people who have done it and continue to do it. They are honest people who put their integrity first before anything. And because of that, they are successful. But how do they do it?

Telling the truth is not a hard thing to do. People mistake truth telling with feelings of hurt and anger. The way to always tell the truth is to focus on the “how” and not so much the truth itself. People are emotional creatures and their egos are fragile. They let their emotions take control over them instead of using their logic. That is why focusing on the how is very important. I know you have heard the phrase, “it’s not what you say but how you say it that’s important”. People don’t really listen to what you are saying to them, they focus more on the delivery. Your body language, your tone of voice, and all other subtle cues become very important. That is why a whopping 90% of communication is non-verbal. Meaning, it is not what is said but what it’s not being said that is revealed by your body language that’s important; id.est. the how.

That means, you can always tell the truth, but know when it is the right time to approach the person you want to talk to. Know the “how” and you can always tell the truth without fear of hurting anyone’s feelings or being hated. People generally appreciate honesty but not the brutal type. Be gentle in your speech and in your manner when delivering a truth. Speak softly, truthfully, carefully and with empathy. Start with a compliment to soften the possible sting of truth that people often attribute to it. When you tell the truth, you become trusted, you are elevated above other employees or friends, you are told secrets, and you are even loved. The truth is not a bad thing; tell it and set yourself and others free.

What say you?

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The Best Life: rule #4 – live by love always now and forevermore

Tata — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 01:21:39 +0000

It is hard I know. Poeple do things you don’t agree with. They do things you don’t like or hate. So you get annoyed and want to yell at them and tell them a piece of your mind. But what good is that going to do? Yes, it will make you feel better for the time being and you will feel a victorous smile come upon your face but did you really win? Does telling people off really help?

Everyone has heard that, “it takes more muscles to frown than to smile”. Same goes for love and hate. You waste more energy hating than loving. And because the energy it takes to hate is negative, it takes a tole on you mentally and that mental straine eventually appears physically. People that hate others more often than not look evil on the outside too, but that’s not always the case although it is something to think about. But how do you always come from a place of love and live the law of love always and forever more?

Start by rememebering that:

No one can really hurt you emotionally unless you let them and if you doubt that, read this
You are always in control of your emotions
The world is your neighbor as it states here

When you remember these and stay true to yourself, you can be that person who always comes from a place of love. When someone does something you don’t like ask yourself, “if this person was a loved one, how would I treat them”? Kind of like the saying, “what would Jesus do”? But no one knows for sure what Jesus would do so I am asking you to come from the love that you have for those that are dear to you in your life. They way you treat them is what I mean by coming from a place of love. There is a significant difference in how we treat strangers versus how we treat those we love.

There is no difference in love except in the amount that is expressed. You should read the previous sentence again. What I mean is that we can actually love and do love all people the same way. The difference is how much of that love we express. And being that we are closer or spend more time with our family members, it seems as if we love them more. In actually, we just have more opportunities to express our love more since we are around them more unlike with strangers. By coming from a place of love and treating others as you would your loved ones, you can be whole – a loving being that you are.

When you come from a place of love: (1) people are happier to be around you (2) you make more friends (3) you are happier (4)positive things begin to happen in your life. We all want these things in our lives. Nothing is stopping you but yourself. Let’s do it together; together is always good.

What say you?

What is your definition of love?

Tata — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 17:59:45 +0000

This is an excerpt from an essay I am writing titled “The definition of love”. It is not complete yet but I thought it would be good to hear what people have to say about love before completing it. Love is a simple yet very complex subject that bugles the minds of many. Because we have placed conditions on love, it is hard to truly love. I believe the only difference between the kinds of loves you have for family, friends, and the world only differs in your expression of it.

Here is the excerpt:

Love is all there is and it has no requirements. If someone loves you because of, that is a conditioner love. In loving others, remove the “because of.” When you love, you just do. However, you cannot love others without first loving yourself. This is why I question the idea that, “it is better to give than to receive.” How can you give something that you don’t have? How can you give love if you don’t have love within you?

Once complete, the full essay will be posted here. In the mean time, what is your definition of love?

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Happy New Year

Tata — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 11:08:10 +0000

2010 is here. What are your New Year resolutions? Every year millions of people make New Year resolutions but end up not following them. For those who do, kudos to you. For those who don’t, here is how you can keep your promises to yourself this year.

Make a list and put it where you can see it every day.
Start small. Start with the easy ones first. By completing any of your resolutions even the small ones, you will motivate yourself.
Reward yourself as you accomplishing each one.
Have fun accomplishing them.
Be positive. I know it’s hard sometimes but always think of the good that will come out of what you are trying to do.
Don’t get frustrated. If you fail at first, try again. Get up, dust yourself and try again.
Don’t let the negativity of others hinder you. Always remember that misery always wants company; meaning, when people fail, they want others to fail with them. It’s sad but true.
Love yourself, when you love yourself, you do for yourself. Find time to take care of yourself. If you don’t, who will?

Here are my New Year resolutions. These are in no particular order. I simply choose to accomplished these things by the end of 2010.

Improve my blog design and ranking in Google
Speak French fluently again and go to Paris for the 2010 summer and if I save enough, go to Egypt and South Africa too.
Have my business in Korea doing well in it’s first year
Be more patient with people
Visit my uncle in Germany
Finish and publish the book I started to write
Try not to fall in love, well, if I can help it. What is life without falling in and out of love with…….
Focus more

That is my list right now. I will probably add to it as I think of more things I neglected to do in 2009. I will use this post to help me remember and accomplish these. What about you? What are your New Year resolutions and how do you plan on accomplishing them? Don’t be shy, share!

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Making crepes in Korea

Tata — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 15:50:19 +0000

One of my passions is cooking. However, I don’t like watching cooking shows or anything like that. Sometimes I can put up with a cooking show and watch half an episode but that’s rare because I find TV boring in general. But since I love to cook among other things, I thought I should share a video of me making one of my favorite meals, crepes.

[kaltura-widget wid="zj1asozer4" width="400" height="290" type="whiteblue" addPermission="3" editPermission="3" /]

Ingredients needed:

(These are not written in stone by the way; you can modify as you like and make them how you want.)

Ground beef
Garlic
Spinach
Beef bulion
Salt
Pepper
Oragano

Optional ingredients
Mushrooms, onions, or whatever taste you are after.

For the flour mix you will need:

All purpose flour
one egg
Milk or water
Sugar

Enjoy with a nice glass of wine.
Use the video as guidance when making these. Again, modify as needed to fit your desires.

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