What if no one ever did anything intentionally or unintentionally bad to you? Assuming this to be true, how would your life be different? If something happened to you directly or indirectly and instead of blaming, you just concentrated on finding a solution, how would that affect your life? Blame is a game that is not worth playing.
I once heard that “when you point a finger at someone, three fingers will be pointed back at you.” I also heard that when you point a finger, “it is the finger that you are pointing that is bad not what caused the finger to be pointed.” Your reaction to any situation is what makes you who you are not what is done to you. Redefine yourself by your reaction to unpleasant situations. Shakespeare once said that, “nothing is really bad but your thinking is what makes it bad.” So when something that you disagree with happens to you next time, surprise people by not blaming anyone. Wouldn’t it be more pertinent to ask yourself, how do I get out of this one? Or how do I fix this situation? Instead of who did this to me? Or feeling sorry for yourself and blaming others. Retain that finger that is quick to point and remember that whatever may happen to you is not always a fault for it happening although sometimes there is a fault somewhere. Get in the habit of assessing the situation and finding a solution. Great people find solutions not faults. Be great, you are great. And remember that if we see things from other people’s point of view, you cannot really blame them because everyone is always right.
Yes, I said everyone is always right. This might be shocking to some people but it’s absolutely true. Do you know why? Because if you step into another person’s shoes and live their experience, know their story and wholy become who they are, they cannot be wrong because they choose and act how they do as a result of their experiences. Their view of the world is different from yours and yours is different from theirs too. You cannot be wrong and they cannot be wrong. This is the secret of Buddha; he came to understand that in accepting everything and denying nothing and improving oneself, you find and become peace. And what you become, you share and by sharing, you become a light unto the world. So, stop the blaming because there is no one to blame since everyone is right if we see the world through their eyes. Blaming others is a waste of time and it certainly does not win you friends.
I once heard a girl after breaking up with her boyfriend say, “I shouldn’t have been with him that long, he ruined my self-esteem.” She was blaming her ex-boyfriend for how she felt about herself. The key word in self-esteem is “self.” How come she came to blame him for how she felt about herself? Simple, because we don’t like to blame ourselves for anything. So, what makes you think that by pointing a finger, you can avoid not having fingers point back at you? If you don’t like to blame yourself, what makes you think another person is going to take the blame? But why blame yourself or anyone else, wouldn’t it be easier to look for a solution? By blaming you waste a lot of time arguing. Remember, you get what you give to others. You live what you think of yourself because your thoughts bear fruits to your actions. So why not give your best to everyone? Every situation is priceless and every moment is golden. Don’t waste your time in blame.
What’s your take on this? How have you handled a situation were blaming was necessary and what was the outcome? Don’t be shy!
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